Stay-at-home mom reveals she does son’s English homework as he dislikes the subject, sparking conflict with her retired school-counselor mother, who fears her dismissal of his academics and college plans: 'They don't talk about college in their home'

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Sep 22, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

No parent wants to see their child struggle, whether it is socially or academically. It's a natural response to want to help your child when they are unable to grasp a concept or make a new friend. However, there is a boundary to be drawn around not letting children do anything for themselves, and unfortunately, many parents may blur that boundary. 

Take this mother, for example. Her son is in middle school and seems to have an allergic reaction to English literature, so instead of letting her son 'suffer' or push through the pain, she decides that doing all his homework would be more effective…However, many people in their lives can see the negative effects this is bringing to their son academically and emotionally, both in the present and the future.

Her mother is a retired school counselor and thus understands the importance of a good education in any child's life, especially her grandsons. So when she tries to confront her overbearing daughter, she is met with comments about how college isn't even an option for him, so why would it matter if she's helping him get through a subject he has no interest in…Well honey, it may or may not be important for your son to know how to read and write by age 15…college or not! 

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  • We understand this grandmother's concern for her grandson. She may love her daughter, but that doesn't mean that her current decisions are earning her any Mother of the Year awards. Understandably son. How is any child meant to know their parents believe in their capabilities when their parents take away any challenge presented in front of them? It could be time for his mother to return to school, because it seems like she may be the one who needs to learn a few lessons….

  • Mother helping son with homework
    via joshuaresnick

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • AITAH for telling my daughter she shouldn't be doing her son's homework?

    My daughter is a stay at home mom and she's a great mom. Her two kids are involved in sports and other activities.
    via nagginggrandma114
  • They have lots of friends and they like their school and community. Yesterday my daughter informs me that her son is done with English.
    via nagginggrandma114
  • He's in middle school and hates the subject. She told me rather than argue with him every night that she's been doing his English homework.
    via nagginggrandma114
  • for the past three weeks. She said "It looks like I'll be doing it for the rest of this year." At first I thought she was joking but she's not.
    via nagginggrandma114
  • The ironic part is that he had to submit a poem describing himself and the teacher gave it back to him saying he could do better.
    via nagginggrandma114
  • So now my daughter gets upset, because she wrote it. I'm a retired High school School Counselor. I know first hand the importance of the humanities subjects.
    via nagginggrandma114
  • He loves math and science but has no interest in anything else. I said to her it's perfectly fine to help him but I really feel doing his homework is going too far.
    via nagginggrandma114
  • Then I told her he's going to need it for High school and college. There's also state testing and in-class assignments. I could sense she was getting annoyed and told me they don't talk about college in their home.
    via nagginggrandma114
  • It's perfectly fine if they decide not to go and therefore she's not worried about his future. She said it's expensive and who'se going to pay for it?
    via nagginggrandma114
  • We often bat heads on certain topics but she is well aware this is my background and it hurts to hear this is the path she's taking.
    via nagginggrandma114
  • So AITHA? Should just back off? Would love to get the POV from teachers and parents.
    via nagginggrandma114
  • Woman writing in a notebook
    via karolina-grabowska

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • mcmurrml Let me correct you. She isn't a great mom with what she is currently doing. She won't listen to you and she is teaching him he doesn't have to follow rules or try something hard and it's ok to cheat. In the long run she is hurting him. Also that she has no plans for his future. No, she isn't a great mom.
    via mcmurrml
  • No-Daikon3645 He will need basic literacy for college, jobs, buying a house. She is doing him a disservice. How is he going to pass any of his exams?
    via No-Daikon3645
  • DisastrousSize 7750 NTA. Helping with homework is fine, but doing it for him just teaches him to avoid responsibility. She's not doing him any favors long-term.
    via DisastrousSize
  • VariationOwn2131 I have seen students like this fail to launch as adults because of their lawn mower parents who remove every tough obstacle.
    via VariationOwn2131
  • Any_Particular8892 NTA your daughter has started an - unhealthy precedent and now will struggle with this through high school graduation and the poor life lesson will stick to him as an adult.
    via Any_Particular8892
  • Many-Pirate2712 Nta My son is doing online schooling and I help him but if he gets the answer wrong after I explain the question then he gets it's wrong. Kids wont learn if you do everything for them
    via Many-Pirate2712
  • ReturnToBog Oh huh makes more sense that kids who can't really read are graduating HS
    via ReturnToBog
  • RotundEnforcer NTA. Kinda stunning how much inconsistency is baked into this thinking. If he isn't going to college, and he isn't learning anything, why does she need to do it at all? Just let him fail the class. Apparently it doesn't matter?
    via RotundEnforcer
  • bakeacake45 I have a handful of silly degrees, the one that I put on my resume first is a degree in English. If you cannot communicate, none of the other degrees mean anything.
    via bakeacake45

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homework english language concerned tests middle school english bad habits parenting spoon-feeding grades memebase grandmother college mother-and-son Parenting FAILS
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